Battlefield Of The Mind...

Things have been great lately.  By the way..."Baby Boo" is doing great.  Ultrasounds have been showing a very healthy little boy.  I definitely have lots to be thankful for.  So why can't I stop worrying?  Why can't I seem to get a grip on this fear. It starts as soon as I close my eyes...waking me up several times throughout the night, into the very early morning...only to remind me of that horrible night a few weeks ago.  I dread each time I have to get up to go to the bathroom, for fear that I'll look down and feel my heart drop again. My mom gave me a book months ago written by Joyce Meyer.  I recently stumbled upon it and began reading.      "He begins by bombarding our mind with a cleverly devised pattern of little nagging thoughts, suspicions, doubts, fears, wonderings, reasoning and theories.  He moves slowly and cautiously (after all, well-laid plans take time).  Remember, he has a strategy for his warfare.  He has studied us for a long time.       He knows what we like and what we don't like.  He knows our insecurities, our weaknesses and our fears.  He knows what bothers us most.  He is willing to invest any amount of time it takes to defeat us.  One of the devil's strong points is patience.      The devil argues with us; he offers us theories and reasoning's.  All of this activity goes on in the mind.      The mind is the battlefield."  As I read, and read, and read...I can't believe that I've been so susceptible to such deceit.  So now I'm mad...really mad.  I can't stand being manipulated and lied to.  That's one of the quickest ways to get me to loose my temper. So, I'm writing this to wage a little old fashion butt kickin'. I will no longer allow my fears to overwhelm my mind or heart.  Regardless of the numerous attempts, I will not allow him to control my thoughts by way of deceit.  Now, I know what he's doing...I know it's a lie...and it really ticks me off.      "Our past may explain why we're suffering, but we must not use it as an excuse to stay in bondage."  Thanks mom, for acting on that little "nudge" to give me this book.  Who would have thought that months down the road...it would be so enlightening.  I guess that even at 30 years old...you still know just what to do or say...or what to give...to make things better.